his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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