you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
