why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
