no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
