it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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