I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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