i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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