What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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