You work out of a Hotel?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
