So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she told me i tasted like america
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
