I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
