are you still at the devil's house?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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