do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
