is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
