I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
