Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The air was thick with penises
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
