Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
