I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
