No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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