Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
