No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
