Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
