I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize