There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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