I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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