Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
