Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
