Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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