So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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