I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
