haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
