You smell like stripper and shame
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
