oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
