i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We left the knife in your bed.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
