So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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