I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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