Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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