talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
