i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
