i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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