i barfeds in our rink
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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