I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
