whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
