We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
