Sry I called you an 8
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize