3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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