awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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