i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
