Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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