Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
