Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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