thus making me awesome and them whores
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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