I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize