This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize