I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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