saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
