if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
