just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
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True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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