I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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