Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
worst night to have a conscience
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.