Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
