you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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