She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
