she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
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I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
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The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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