Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
