The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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