Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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