Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
