I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
